One of the greatest influences on my life

Me and grandma sitting with her dog in the garden

My grandma died about two years ago, just two weeks shy of her 100th birthday.

I have been reflecting on major influences in my life, and she defintely makes the top 5 list.

Below is the eulogy I delivered at her funeral. I sure learned a lot from my grandma:

Grandma taught me so many things about life, but as I have been reflecting back over the past two weeks, there are four things that really come to mind.

First, Grandma taught me how to love. She did this by example, never overtly coming out and saying “this is how you treat people,” she just showed me how to treat people with unconditional love every day. I had the benefit of getting this from two generations of Picketts, because she taught my dad how to love too. So every day growing up I had shining examples of how to love unconditionally and how to treat people right, through my dad and through my Grandma.

When I was in the sixth grade, my mom would drop me off at Grandma’s house every morning on her way to school. I would spend an hour with Grandma before walking to school, and then usually I would walk back to her house at the end of the school day. I came to love these mornings in sixth grade. I would wake up at my house and have breakfast with my mom, dad and sister. Then I would get dropped off at Grandma’s house and she would have breakfast waiting for me. We would eat breakfast together and then play checkers or Chinese checkers or cards. Sometimes Grandma would help me with my homework. Each morning Grandma always greeted me with a smile and a warm meal. I probably didn’t thank her very often, I certainly did not thank her often enough. But she still showed me unconditional love every day, and through her example taught me what love looked like.

Another life lesson that Grandma taught me was to keep a positive outlook on life. She exemplified this in all that she would do. If it was raining, she would be excited about the rain. If it was sunny and warm, she saw that as a blessing. If it was cold and blustery, that was great too because it was an excuse to stay inside and eat soup. Grandma epitomizes the phrase “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!” She always saw the silver lining in every cloud. The story my dad told about the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. is a great example of this.

The third life lesson that Grandma instilled in me was a strong work ethic. Keep in mind that Grandma was 70 when I was born, so for my formative years my Grandma was in her 80s. She had long since retired from running her health food store or working in a traditional job, but she still had a powerful work ethic that she shared with me. When Grandma lived in Black Canyon City, she had five or six citrus trees in her yard. Anytime that we visited her during fruit season, we would be out in the yard picking the fruit from the trees. We had had an endless supply of grapefruit, tangerines and oranges. Grandma moved to Flagstaff in 1989 when I was 11 years old, she was 81. Grandma’s house in Flagstaff had a lawn, so we wanted to get her a lawn mower. We shopped around for gas and electric mowers, but grandma insisted on a hand powered manual mower. This made a lasting impression on an 11 year old boy. She taught me how to use that mower, but more often than not she would cut her lawn in the summer before I could get down to her house. The same was true with shoveling the snow. If we had a big snowstorm overnight and I did not rush down to her house first thing in the morning, she would have already shoveled a path from her front door to her mailbox and also shoveled off the back patio for the dogs. She did this through her 80s and I watched and learned as a teenager. Once again I had the benefit of two generations of Picketts, because Grandma also instilled this work ethic in my dad, who shared it with me.

The final thing that I remember most about Grandma was her love and appreciation for God’s creatures and God’s creation. Grandma’s love of animals knew no bounds. She would put her dog’s wellbeing in front of anything else. She was the original “dog whisperer” as she had a keen ability to communicate with her animals. Grandma taught me how to treat animals with respect and kindness, and demonstrated to me the beauty and depth of a bond between humans and our furry companions. I grew up with a great dog named Zephyr, but she was my parent’s dog. After much pleading I got my own dog just before Grandma moved to Flagstaff. His name was Royal and it was Grandma that really showed me how to bond with him and treat him like family. We used to sit for hours and watch Royal and Grandma’s Dalmatian Lady play in the yard. When Grandma would read on the couch in the afternoons, she would always drape her hand down to the floor and Royal or Lady would always lie there Grandma would pet them for hours.

Grandma also had an amazing appreciation for nature. She was a gardener extraordinaire and had the greenest thumb of anyone I have ever met. She could make anything grow. We used to get grapefruit from Black Canyon City the size of small watermelons. I remember one time she even planted Kiwi seeds (because I asked her if it could be done) and before you knew it she had a kiwi plant. Grandma’s love for gardening and nature had a profound impact on me. I ended up doing yard care during high school as a summer job and tending the garden at my house.

When we bought our first house in Denver, there were two important criteria: We needed a good space for our dog and I knew it had to have lots of plants and trees and space for gardening. Clearly Grandma has had a huge impact on my life.

So when I reflect back over Grandma and her life, these are the four life lessons that Grandma has taught me:
-She taught me how to love, how to love unconditionally
-She taught me to keep a positive outlook on life, no matter what the circumstances
-Grandma instilled in me a strong work ethic
-Grandma taught me an intense respect for nature, both for God’s creatures and creation

Despite Grandma’s departure from this earth, her legacy will live on. It lives on through everyone she ever came into contact with, everyone who experienced her unconditional love, everyone who encountered her positive outlook, and every creature and plant that she nurtured. And she nurtured me. I love you Grandma, thank you for what you instilled in me. You are missed, but your light will keep shining on through all of us.